A “Thought Massage”
I Admire (honesty, sincerity, etc.) Because…
We have many values that parallel our core Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual needs. For this morning, I’ve chosen “Mercy”. I admire someone who is merciful.
I often hear people say honesty is the best policy. As perceptions and perspectives are unique to each individual – honesty for one may not be honesty for another. As one of my favorite Judges sez as he begins a parable…For Instance:
Okay, say I have issues with my weight and it really affects my self esteem. I’m with a friend; we decide to go shopping and have lunch. It’s a bright, sunny day and I’m feeling bright and sunny myself. We go into a quaint boutique on the ave and look around. I see a dress I really like and decide to try it on. I’m ambivalent about how the dress looks on me. My low self esteem, that stinkin’/thinkin’, sez that I look fat in it; there’s another side of me (my True Self) that sez I’m pretty in it. Although I do, I can barely hear my True Self, cause my stinkin’/thinkin’ (that part of my personal ego) has spoken so loud for so long that, that’s what I’ve come to believe…I’m fat. I step outside the dressing room to get some feedback from my friend; I really value her thoughts, and because my stinkin’/thinkin’ has spoken (so has my Higher Self, but who’s paying attention to that…right?), my bright and sunny feeling has diminished a tad.
She thinks I look fat in it.
Well now…time for being honest or merciful.
I guess some people would say, I asked, so they’re gonna be my friend and be “honest”, tell me the truth. Let me know what they THINK – that I look fat in it. That feedback really hurts my feelings, but hey, they’re being honest…Right?
Because she has an idea about how I look…does that make it “the” truth or simply “her” truth?
Now, I know some people may say, “well, I shouldn’t be worryin’ about what others think, and on and on and on. Okay, I go with that’s a truth, but let’s be REAL. We all give concern to what others may think. Perhaps not as much as some, but we do – be it in our workplace – another example, you want a raise. Do you give concern about how your supervisor may view your productivity, collaborations with others, etc.? In business, we give concern that others deem our product/service valuable, correct? We value what our parents think,our partner, our children…I could go on. (Ahhh, this is another reflection of a Thought Massage 🙂 )
Okay, I digress. Another friend may recognize their perception is merely their OWN idea about how I look. They are merciful and flip the script and ask me how I really feel and think about me in that dress. (Maybe this is the coach in me plugging in the ‘flip the script’ thing – don’t think so tho…for me it’s called Love).
Oh, by the way, as I’m standing in the open way for others to see, a nice gentleman walks up to us and sez to me, “I just had to come over here and let you know how beautiful you are in that dress” 🙂.
Honesty is the best policy. It takes the cause of compassion and maturity to take a pause and ask before giving an honest opinion:
a) Am I saying “the” truth or simply “my” truth…Honestly?
b) Do I have to say what I think, no matter the cost?
b) Would my truth to her answer hurt or help, clip her wings or help her spread them?
Of course, often Mercy and Honesty is one in the same.
If I had to make the choice…I’d rather be merciful than honest.
A morning “Thought Massage”
Anita is a Certified TAPN2U Life Coach/Teacher. She is the Director of Engai Creative Thought Academy. Coined the ALC (the Amazing Life Coach), Anita is creator and developer of the TAPN2U Treasure Map Experience and TAPN2U Self Recovery Card Game. Anita’s message is to move beyond positive thinking to simply BE-ing positive and live LIFE from the inside out…to TAPN2U. She is a Minister, Licensed Massage Therapist, Reiki Practitioner, Certified Aromatherapist, speaker and writer/author. Anita has a Bachelor’s Degree in Metaphysical Philosophy and is currently pursuing her Master’s Degree in this field of study. She also enjoys her work as an independent contracting Advocate for Michigan unemployed workers, and continues to volunteer her time, talent and treasure in the Detroit Metropolitan area.